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ASK DR. CRAINE !


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#61 craine

craine

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Posted 18 September 2019 - 03:43 PM

Dear Catz,

Thank you for your excellent question.  I will only reveal this because I seriously doubt that anyone else can steal my trade secret and use it for their own gain.

I keep a cutting edge team on permanent retainer in the event that I need to discuss, explore and/or expectorate my feelings, thoughts and/or I really don't have a third item here; I just wanted to use "and/or" twice in the same sentence.

My team consists of Amanda Huggenkiss, Oliver Kloseoff and Marty McFlushwhenfloating.  All three are there for me, day or night anytime they are needed.  They have no choice in the matter because they are my pet goldfishes.

Their advice is utter crap so I write it down upon a fogged mirror in Hebrew, upside down (the Hebrew, not me) while reciting the Fibonacci number sequence. I then set the fish bowl on a pedestal so that they can view their gibberish. This is calming to me because in that moment I realize that I am NOT a goldfish who cannot leave the water when I need to use the bathroom and that my problems are insignificant to theirs.

Thanks for your inquiry,
Dr. Craine

#62 EzrealStorm

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Posted 20 September 2019 - 07:00 AM

Dear Doctor,

 

Today I shaved for the first time, I realized how my head looked much balder than it did before, so my friends pointed out that I am your new imposter.

 

Let me know if there is anything I can do for you,

 

~ Your Imposter (apparently)


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(lol) ~Astral is amazing~ (lol) 

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#63 Catznchocolate

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Posted 08 October 2019 - 10:56 PM

Dear Dr. Craine - I have this recurring dream that I am a superhero fighting other heroes and other teams for honor.  Then when I wake up, I am a mild mannered accountant with 2 cats who tests software.  Or do I have it backwards?  Am I really a superhero who has dreams about being an accountant?


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#64 craine

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Posted 08 October 2019 - 11:01 PM

Dear Catz,
You are niether.
You are a cat who tests software about superheroes who wake up and eat chitlins.

Yours truly,
Dr. Craine
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