175 replies to this topic

[SuperSamSam]

Dear Auntie Pink,

 

Your message was really sweet and full of wisdom.. You might want to invest in a long white beard... not that people wearing other kind of beards are less wise. I mean, I don't really know. I've never done a study about beards. I always wanted one and knowing I would be made fun of alimented that desire.(= What is wrong with me ? Many things)...

Although I have to say, I've never actually paid for one.

Maybe because, deep down inside, I feared that it might actually suit me very well.. 

 

What am I doing ? This is not what I wanted to talk about... but ... beards.

 

Anyways, I disagree with you, but I think you are right. Does that even make sense ?

I gave up on that battle a long time ago, anyway. What are my real chances to ever convey the exact message I want to someone through words ? None existant is the answer.

 

Let's review some definitions, shall we ? 

 

Muggles = No super power beings. 

 

Love = Super power.

 

Humans = Beings able to truy love = Beings with the super power called love. 

 

 

I took a long time to understand that. 

 

Also, yes, when a guy acts like ....... in his car and puts in danger himself and potential strangers. I make the assumption, that he is a muggle. That he might have been a human at some point, but right there, it's a muggle. Now, it's just an assumption, but what can I say for myself ? How fair is it for me to assume that of a stranger ? It probably isn't at all. 

 

 

 

 

Hope you will get my meaning behing the beard,

BlackHawk

[PostmodernPugilist]

Dear Black hawk

 

Thanks for babbling!

 

I mean asking

 

Did you have an actual question? oh yeah  "does that even make sense?"  

 

No

 

"What are my real chances to ever convey the exact message I want to someone through words ?"

 

Absolute Zero unless you learn to sort your thoughts through FIRST then attempt communication. 

 

Anyway, if you feel that you would be more truly yourself with a beard then get one. Personally I regard wizards with beards as distinctly suspicious but then I'm prejudiced against wizards as a whole (not Power Bottom, he's ok). But, to be fair, most of the magic users I've met have been trying to kill me or at very least cast a spell on me. And my super-regeneration powers aren't up to much against magic. Takes hours for my body to figure out what's wrong and fix it. By which time I'm usually dead. Can you blame me for shooting first and asking questions later? 

 

Hope this helps!

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink 

[PostmodernPugilist]

Dear Aunti Pink

 

I am hungry.  And all you guys talk about is buffets.  I hear we have some great culinary people here on HZ.  Any tips on reeling one in.  Maybe for a meal or for marriage.

 

Sincerely

Priscilla of the hungry

 

 

Dear Priscilla of the hungry

 

Thanks for asking!!

 

the best way I know to reel in a great chef for meals, maybe more? I don't know why people ask me for dating advice, I vastly prefer the benefits of sole ownership of the remote control but I'll see what I can do. 

 

Top Gear has always given good advice on cars (alongside blowing up caravans) so I'll try to apply what I've learnt from them

 

1) Dial up three different fast food delivery places simultaneously and place identical orders (get some friends to help)

 

2) Prior to doing this dig enormous holes in the roads around your house, line the way with angry pitchfork waving locals, place IEDs on the last stretch and engage in some supposedly "funny" mild racism. 

 

3) Declare the first delivery person to make it the winner and ask him/her for a date. This should actually have the effect of getting you a date with the best car who works for the most dedicated food delivery service and those are qualities you should look for in a potential partner. 

 

4) Punch your producer because you can't have steak for dinner. 

 

hope this helps!

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink

[SuperSamSam]

Dear Auntie Pink, 

 

I think at some point, I just started asking questions because of your replies.

When are you starting your own one-auntie show ? I want to watch it. 

 

Again, I'm not attempting to make sense. Also, the whole " sorting thoughts " concept have always gone over my head. 

DON'T CENSOR ME, dang it ! I mean seriously, it feels like auto-censoring. Also, I've learned that telling people exactly what you think feels pretty great.

 

 No one blames you for shooting first, the first time it happened. It's just that the 7th time, people would think you would get some experience on the situation.... and find another way. 

 

I think I've found what I was looking for. I don't know how.. but I'm going to make this happen.

 

 

 

I'm serious about the one-auntie show. I know people, I can get you great sponsors.

 

Hope you answer  ,

Now hungry, blackhawk. 

[PostmodernPugilist]

Dear Auntie Pink, 

 

I think at some point, I just started asking questions because of your replies.

When are you starting your own one-auntie show ? I want to watch it. 

 

Again, I'm not attempting to make sense. Also, the whole " sorting thoughts " concept have always gone over my head. 

DON'T CENSOR ME, dang it ! I mean seriously, it feels like auto-censoring. Also, I've learned that telling people exactly what you think feels pretty great.

 

 No one blames you for shooting first, the first time it happened. It's just that the 7th time, people would think you would get some experience on the situation.... and find another way. 

 

I think I've found what I was looking for. I don't know how.. but I'm going to make this happen.

 

 

 

I'm serious about the one-auntie show. I know people, I can get you great sponsors.

 

Hope you answer  ,

Now hungry, blackhawk. 

 

 

Dear hungry blackhawk

 

Thanks for asking!

 

And hope you got some food.... mmm... food... scuse me ... cookiess.......

[PostmodernPugilist]

 

Dear Auntie Pink, 

 

I think at some point, I just started asking questions because of your replies.

When are you starting your own one-auntie show ? I want to watch it. 

 

Again, I'm not attempting to make sense. Also, the whole " sorting thoughts " concept have always gone over my head. 

DON'T CENSOR ME, dang it ! I mean seriously, it feels like auto-censoring. Also, I've learned that telling people exactly what you think feels pretty great.

 

 No one blames you for shooting first, the first time it happened. It's just that the 7th time, people would think you would get some experience on the situation.... and find another way. 

 

I think I've found what I was looking for. I don't know how.. but I'm going to make this happen. 

 

 

 

I'm serious about the one-auntie show. I know people, I can get you great sponsors.

 

Hope you answer    ,

Now hungry, blackhawk. 

 

 

 

Dear hungry blackhawk

 

 

Thanks for asking

*Must. Not. Think. About. Fooooooooooooooood*

 

erm .... yeah. I'd love my own agony aunty show, It'd be great.

 

I always wished Princess Diana had chosen to do her "Three people in that marriage" interview on something more like Jerry Springer

 

Part One

Diana comes on

Audience clap and cheer and cry

Princess Diana gives her side of the story

Audience boo

Woman in audience stands up and says "you need to dump that zero get yo'self a hero

 

Part Two

Charles comes on

Audience boo

Man in audience stands up lectures Charles on disrespecting his wife like that

Charles goes "errrrrrrrr" a lot

No-one can silence audience man. 

 

Part Three 

Camilla comes in

Audience boo 

Audience member shouts "you think you're all that but you aint all that"

Camilla flaunts her hips and shouts "Least I got the MAN and he's MINE!!"

Diana throws a punch 

Security have to separate the three royals with tasers

 

the end

 

 

Anyway, get me the sponsors I'll do the advising. 

 

 

 

 

 No one blames you for shooting first, the first time it happened. It's just that the 7th time, people would think you would get some experience on the situation.... and find another way. 

 

 

This is why I like you. I can't help feeling you're a lot like me. Remember it's only illegal if you get caught and 6 feet or more is the recommended depth if you're digging your own grave.

 

Hope this helps!!

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink

[PostmodernPugilist]

Remember folks: No problem is too big for Aunty Pink to snark at it

 

No question is too small  I'll snark at anything

 

Aunty Pink is here for you!!!  my rent needs paying and I'm paid by the column inch

[Evolution]

Dear Aunty Pink,

 

How do you read that fine print?  I mean, it's not like your glasses aren't smashed to bits with all the fighting that Turbulence does. Yes, I know they're sunglasses but you never remove them (or at least no one has ever seen you without them).  Come to think of it...no one has EVER seen you and Batman in the same room at the same time, have they?!?!  

[King of Thieves]

I have. But it was an action figure. Batman, that is. Not Pink. 

[AngelicaSynn]

Pink doesn't know this, but I have practiced my skills in woodland stealth in the early morning near the Turbo-cave, and have seen her practicing that weird martial art that PA taught her...

 

Let's just say that I can verify without doubt she's not BatMAN ...

[King of Thieves]

Thanks Angelica. I now have strawberry yogurt in the back of my nasal cavities. On the bright side, everything smells like strawberries now.

[SuperSamSam]

Dear Auntie Pink,

 

I've been looking for sponsors, so far only my team leadership called back. 

They're not giving us any coins, but they'll provide food. Lots and lots of sugar. 

All they ask for is a 3-seconds advertisement after the show, which is pretty decent. 

 

The Princess Diana at Jerry Springer idea did interest a young camerawoman. 

She does a poor quality job with a poor quality camera and this would be her first real job. 

To be honest, she doesn't seem reliable, at all.  Even to get a sample shoot, she made me wait 72 hours. 

If procrastination was a super power, she would be a superzero. 

 

The nice side IS she'll work for free and likes what you do. 

 

Anyways, see for yourself. This is a sample shoot, that she did in 15 minutes...literally... she made me wait 15 minutes out of her appartement to start doing what I asked her for three days ago. 

 

Note ( Out of Character)  : Apparently, I can't post the animation, I created, directly in my message.I'm not sure links are ok or not, but I'm not going to try and find out.Since I did slave away 15 minutes, I'm sending it in your mail box. 

 

 

 

What do you think ? Do you like it ? No ? Yes ? 

 

 

 

Truly yours,

SuperSamSam/ Auntie Pink's Agony Show Project Manager

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AngelicaSynn]

***Technical Note***

 

Did you save it as a .gif file? If so, you might need to use Photobucket, as I'm not sure Imgur supports GIF files...

[JacetheMindsculptorBeleren]

Dear Black hawk

 

Thanks for babbling!

 

I mean asking

 

Did you have an actual question? oh yeah  "does that even make sense?"  

 

No

 

"What are my real chances to ever convey the exact message I want to someone through words ?"

 

Absolute Zero unless you learn to sort your thoughts through FIRST then attempt communication. 

 

Anyway, if you feel that you would be more truly yourself with a beard then get one. Personally I regard wizards with beards as distinctly suspicious but then I'm prejudiced against wizards as a whole (not Power Bottom, he's ok). But, to be fair, most of the magic users I've met have been trying to kill me or at very least cast a spell on me. And my super-regeneration powers aren't up to much against magic. Takes hours for my body to figure out what's wrong and fix it. By which time I'm usually dead. Can you blame me for shooting first and asking questions later? 

 

Hope this helps!

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink 

 

For the record, none of the wizards run in any games by my creator have ever tried to kill you off.

 

Actually you attacked them all usually because your league leaders at the time asked you to do so.

 

The fact that to date you never killed any of them off rpwise only and not referring to in game fights where they were defeated either means you know what Death Curses are, you would not want certain characters we both are acquainted with to be plotting magical revenge or somewhere deep in the black pit you still call a human heart you actually care for them.

 

Okay enough reminiscing and onto my question.

 

How many times should a league/ team leader have to keep telling players who send him/her requests asking them to leave said team and become a new team's adviser?

 

Yes I know my creator can explain himself better then me in very threatening and non threatening English but he is very annoyed. You see since he created his team, he has one only successful team join request received, one request asked via in game pm and denied by the player in question and over fifty adviser requests only and all these have in common is they definitely appear to be typed by members of the game who do not know how to type English well and have very little punctuation.

 

As his patience grows thin so does my own and whether I am really a goddess or an escaped inhabitant of the same asylum The Joker keeps coming from, it matters not but when patience has reached its limit ....certain demonstrations will be made towards those who keep thinking he is adviser and not team leader material only.

 

It is my intention if possible to not have to do indulge him in said demonstrations so he has asked me to ask you. 

[PostmodernPugilist]

Dear Editor

 

Thank you for your recent threat email regarding my unauthorised absence. As I explained I was unavoidably detained at an all you can eat buffet. However the good news is that I've found a highly qualified agony uncle who's willing to step in and help me help those poor mugs needy idiots   readers who need my help so much.

 

Yeah yeah I know, the staff wages bill is high enough already. But Doctor Jim Topwell comes highly recommended and will probably just work for beer and biscuits. Honest. 

 

Hope this helps

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink

[PowerBottom]

Doctor Topwell? I'll be the judge of that.

[jim666]

Good Morning dear people, as way of introduction the name is Dr James (Jim) Topwell, RCS, DSO, BAR, RCMO, etc. I notice that the standards on this forum have dropped dramatically, I am a Doctor of huge ability and knowledge, and will eduacte all, now no "thank you, Dr Jim" you are very lucky I have time to educate you, as the running of Topwell Hall, and the handling of Lady Alice is a burden. So any questions regarding any topic, please feel free, and remember I do tend to go to the club in the afternoons, no females allowed, the standards must be up held, the motto, Class, Breeding and manners.

[jim666]

Doctor Topwell? I'll be the judge of that.

Well, Sir! I hope you are a Sir, indeed I hope you are not one of these female types, You cannot be in a position to judge me, as I take it you have never arranged a May Ball for Lady Alice! Class Sir! I say class will win out.

[jim666]

For the record, none of the wizards run in any games by my creator have ever tried to kill you off.

 

Actually you attacked them all usually because your league leaders at the time asked you to do so.

 

The fact that to date you never killed any of them off rpwise only and not referring to in game fights where they were defeated either means you know what Death Curses are, you would not want certain characters we both are acquainted with to be plotting magical revenge or somewhere deep in the black pit you still call a human heart you actually care for them.

 

Okay enough reminiscing and onto my question.

 

How many times should a league/ team leader have to keep telling players who send him/her requests asking them to leave said team and become a new team's adviser?

 

Yes I know my creator can explain himself better then me in very threatening and non threatening English but he is very annoyed. You see since he created his team, he has one only successful team join request received, one request asked via in game pm and denied by the player in question and over fifty adviser requests only and all these have in common is they definitely appear to be typed by members of the game who do not know how to type English well and have very little punctuation.

 

As his patience grows thin so does my own and whether I am really a goddess or an escaped inhabitant of the same asylum The Joker keeps coming from, it matters not but when patience has reached its limit ....certain demonstrations will be made towards those who keep thinking he is adviser and not team leader material only.

 

It is my intention if possible to not have to do indulge him in said demonstrations so he has asked me to ask you. 

It seems this "creator" chappy needs to be taken in hand, cannot have this type running around, not cricket old chap, I will send old smithy around to sort this out, keep it steady Sir, steadyI say.

[PostmodernPugilist]

Dear Aphrael

 

Thanks for asking! (Did you ask anything or just ramble?)

 

 

 

Actually you attacked them all usually because your league leaders at the time asked you to do so.

 

 

 

... and your point would be? The only good magic user is a dead magic user. (not you PowerBottom, you're ok) 

 

 

blah blah blah 

 

Okay enough reminiscing and onto my question.

 

How many times should a league/ team leader have to keep telling players who send him/her requests asking them to leave said team and become a new team's adviser?

 

Yes I know my creator can explain himself better then me in very threatening and non threatening English but he is very annoyed. You see since he created his team, he has one only successful team join request received, one request asked via in game pm and denied by the player in question and over fifty adviser requests only and all these have in common is they definitely appear to be typed by members of the game who do not know how to type English well and have very little punctuation.

 

As his patience grows thin so does my own and whether I am really a goddess or an escaped inhabitant of the same asylum The Joker keeps coming from, it matters not but when patience has reached its limit ....certain demonstrations will be made towards those who keep thinking he is adviser and not team leader material only.

 

It is my intention if possible to not have to do indulge him in said demonstrations so he has asked me to ask you. 

 

 

 

So some guy is pestering you to join his team and leave the team you run did I get that right?

 

Kill him.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink

 

(Ed's note REDACTED)

 

Dear Aphrael: I am legally required to remind you that killing people is illegal (but only if you get caught) and that there is a block button. Personally I think visiting Triple Taps is the only language these people understand but you go make your own choices with your godly power and all that.

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink