6 replies to this topic

[craine]

Hello Meljer,
I would like to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. Work has been very stressful to the point where I constantly have that nervous feeling you get where you are participating in a karaoke marathon and think that your fly is down but you don't dare to look because that would only draw attention.

I would find it most relaxing to sit in a Jacuzzi full of refried beans (68° F) wearing socks on my hands while Julia Louis-Dreuyfus peels grapes for me to eat out of her delicate fingers as a Hi-fi system gently plays Barry Manilow's greatest hits.

When can I book an appointment?

A severe mental wreck with a nervous twitch,
Craine.

[Always]

are you bored with everything? do you need a break? or do you just want to kick back do what you want and chit chat?

well our retreat comprises of the best state of the art bars, pools and endless food. you can take a walk and hear the sound of dolphins. we are here to cater to your needs, so come on in, sit back and relax, our spa is open 24/7 and our relaxing pet area can wipe away your stress.

our fee? do you ask a mere 5 coins and all of this can be yours, stay a day, a week or a month anything you want, play alot or just log in, nothing else matters then your health needs.

we are looking foward to hearing from you and thank you for choosing our fine establishment

-meljer

Dear meljer,

 

Thank you for extending this invitation to everyone meljer, I too would like to take advantage of this amazing opertunity. However I have a few questions. Is the food; vegan, gluten free, halal, vegetarian, holistic, all natural and grain fed or is it only processed food on offer? Does the bar have an endless supply of rum? Are bombs and running allowed in the pool and surrounds? Also what does a dolphin sound like apart from a big splash? Once I have the answers to these pressing questions I will decide whether to visit or not.

 

Yours always

Always

 

Hello Meljer,
I would like to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. Work has been very stressful to the point where I constantly have that nervous feeling you get where you are participating in a karaoke marathon and think that your fly is down but you don't dare to look because that would only draw attention.

I would find it most relaxing to sit in a Jacuzzi full of refried beans (68° F) wearing socks on my hands while Julia Louis-Dreuyfus peels grapes for me to eat out of her delicate fingers as a Hi-fi system gently plays Barry Manilow's greatest hits.

When can I book an appointment?

A severe mental wreck with a nervous twitch,
Craine.

Dear craine,

 

Sorry about the state of your mental health and nervous twitch, I have recently come to meet an amazing Dr, you should see him about your ailments, I highly recommend him, his name is Dr Craine but seems to also go by Dr craina and I've adopted the name of servant for him, I'm sure he'll be able to get you on the mend pronto.

 

After considering the lovely meljers invitation to her spa retreat, I am eager to accept, providing the "menu" can accomadate to my simple diet. I find myself flicking through the brocure and I see you pictured in the jacuzzi wearing only socks on your hands, and well.... PLEASE PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!

 

Yours always

Always

 

P.S. I saw you onstage in the karaoke bar and your fly was down.

[Astral]

Oh wowsers.. I think I want to visit too if it can accomondate my simplistic diet style. I tend to follow the same dietary routine as Always to keep my body healthy. and yes. I also recommend to visit Dr Craine. He is super quick with his responses and can help you with anything. He can even find you a solution to your chair being eaten by your pet platypus while it is wearing a western cowboy hat. 

 

Please do not forget to turn the stove off...