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Fan Fiction: Turbulence

Fan Fiction Turbulence

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#1 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 12 January 2015 - 11:21 PM

Pinken Stein, known to the dozens of readers of the Humphreydale Gazette as "Aunty Pink" sipped her half-caf-strawberry soy latte and sighed. 

 

"it's not the same." 

 

"Which bit of "not the same" are you talking about?" asked her companion. "I mean the coffee in this world sucks, no argument there. Who flavours coffee with strawberry?" 

 

Pink drank the last of it and grimaced. 

 

"Wellll.... to be honest, Buckeye Dove, your basement is all well and good but it's just not as.... big as the Turbo Cave." 

 

"HEY! I'm sick of you complaining I'm not big enough." 

 

"YOUR BASEMENT!" Pink threw the table at the former fire demon. Buckeye Dove ducked ... straight into it. 

"OW"

 

"Then there's the total lack of vampires."

 

"Meh. Those guys were scum even to us demons. ... how they sold you pathetic humans on the whole "tortured romantic sparkly guys"  schtick I've never known. But we all used to laugh at you for buying it down at Demon Club."

 

"wait.... there was a Demon Club?!"

 

"yeah. We didn't invite you cos of you know you not being a demon...." Buckeye Dove poked his tongue out at her. 

 

"Who else went to Demon Club?"

 

"The first rule of Demon Club was ghhhghghghghghhhh" 

 

Pink looked at her watch. After 30 seconds she relaxed the hand around Buckeye Dove's throat and dropped him to the ground.

 

"Bitch." he muttered. "OK OK me, Obsidian X, some of the other guys, about 30 of us altogether... Lucifer used to shove his head round the door and laugh at us sometimes....  Our daughter - "

 

 

"She wasn't MY daughter." Pink snapped. Buckeye Dove laughed. 

 

"Sure looked like you...."

 

"WE. NEVER. DID....."

 

"Or so you want people to believe..."

 

"Oh shut up."

 

"Frightened your boyfriend will start to believe me?"
 

"Michael's not my boyfriend."

 

"Sure sure, he just hangs around you all the time like a lost puppy because you got him a gun-cleaning set". 

 

"SHUT UP"

 

"Fine... the others are due here for the meeting any minute anyway."  


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Pinken Stein: The Postmodern Pugilist, Ex-Moderator

 

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Ask Aunty Pink: Hero Zero's PREMIER Agony Advice Column. http://forum.us.hero...pink/#entry3602

 

In Memoriam: Russ Smith, Gone but never forgotten 


#2 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 14 January 2015 - 10:47 PM

"Is this where the meeting is supposed to be?"

 

(Godz... Pink looks funny without her head-flames...)

 

She looks around and wrinkles her nose.

 

(Is that scrawny... boy... supposed to be Buckeye?)

 

"Nice basement.", she said, her sarcasm going completely over his notice.

 

"Thanks.", he said, pointing out a group of folding chairs.

 

Angelica sits down, takes out her smart-phone and starts doodling... 

 

"sigh- they all look like wiring diagrams, now... maybe if I built them, I could get them out of my head..."


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#3 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 11:13 PM

"Hey, Buck... your Mom ever use this old toaster oven?"

 

*lots of good parts in this model*


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#4 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 21 January 2015 - 01:35 PM

"OKAY..." Pink, the PostmodernPugilist, looked around the room at the assembled motley of former Turbulence members.

 

"So we survived some kind of weird-ass dimensional transfer when our old universe collapsed and all ended up here..."

 

"There's other people we know have made it too...Final Judgement, Zombie Control" commented Buckeye Dove "Although not - "

 

"Tell me about it" Pink interrupted hurriedly before the words "your daughter" could enter the conversation "That annoying pipsqueak Felix Pigg is strutting around in a security guard uniform again... I saw him when I was out shoplif- shopping."

 

"by the way, Pink thanks for the cookies" Grendal finished the last Coconuttie.

 

"So: Item One. Removing Buckeye Dove as leader."

 

"WHAT???!!!!"

 

"Agreed"

"Aye"

"Yes"

 

echoed around the room. No-one listened to the plaintive wail. "But it's MY basement!!!"


Pinken Stein: The Postmodern Pugilist, Ex-Moderator

 

Proud leader of Turbulence (till I can find some other mug to take the job off my hands)

Ask Aunty Pink: Hero Zero's PREMIER Agony Advice Column. http://forum.us.hero...pink/#entry3602

 

In Memoriam: Russ Smith, Gone but never forgotten 


#5 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 21 January 2015 - 11:05 PM

Angelica, in a quiet corner near an electrical outlet, has the toaster oven mostly disassembled...

 

Re-assembling the carcass so that her pilfering isn't evident, she quietly begins to solder the circuits she has been envisioning, pausing only to add her 'Aye' to the vote.  


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#6 PowerBottom

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Posted 29 January 2015 - 11:36 AM

PB failed to cast a vote as he was still checking out Buckeye's "basement"


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#7 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 31 January 2015 - 10:19 PM

"So that's settled. Buckeye Dove sucks, we don't want him as a leader but we're going to use his basement anyway."

 

"I hate you all."

 

"Good."

 

"We need a new leader" Brick Johnson commented.

 

"ER - why?" 

 

"Tax reasons"  

 

"OK. FINE!" 

 

"I don't wanna do it."

"Don't look at me"

"screw that"


Pinken Stein: The Postmodern Pugilist, Ex-Moderator

 

Proud leader of Turbulence (till I can find some other mug to take the job off my hands)

Ask Aunty Pink: Hero Zero's PREMIER Agony Advice Column. http://forum.us.hero...pink/#entry3602

 

In Memoriam: Russ Smith, Gone but never forgotten 


#8 PrivateAvenger

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Posted 31 January 2015 - 10:52 PM

While everyone was proclaiming the virtue of Pink being the new leader, Private Avenger was looking in Pinks eyes from across the room. Shaking his head "NO". He knew that mischievous glint in her.

 

"So it's agreed then? Pink will be our new leader." Angelica pronounced. The vote went almost unanimously except for a few objection and the constant stammering from Buckeye.

 

"But, but it's my mom's basement."

 

​"Great as my first act of leadership, I abdicate my position and declare Michael as the new leader under by-law of Leaders rights and privilege to name his or hers successor if they tire of the job and choose to step down.    

 

​PA groaned she had him, she knew that he would lead he had in so many other times and would never shirk responsibility.

 

"Why not Cap?" PA tried weekly but he knew.

​"Sorry old chum." Captain Avenger gave his patented smirk "I'm just a soldier this time."  


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#9 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 01 February 2015 - 01:17 AM

Angelica nudged Pink gently with her elbow.

 

From the side of her mouth, she whispered, "Good one...", and grinned...


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and your enemies will wonder what you're up to...
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#10 PrivateAvenger

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Posted 01 February 2015 - 11:14 PM

An hour later PA found himself in a full contamination suit. What started as a discussion on duties around the leagues secret lair and the need to set some type of schedule ended with PA sweeping, dusting, taking out the garbage and now cleaning the toxic sludge that seemed to coat everything in the bathroom.

 

"Why do I let myself fall for this shit?" He questions the one clean spot of tile that was his reward for fifteen minutes of hard scrubbing. "Well at least Mysticmyster helped." PA informed the growing spot. "He at least did the dishes." What actually happened unknown to PA is Mysticmyster used magic to teleport all the dirty dishes in to several trash bags that PA later took out.

 

Five hours later PA exits the now shinny clean bathroom thanking the powers that Dingleberries was no longer a member of the league. His jaw dropped as he entered the main area of League Headquaters The place was a mess empty Pizza boxes all over the place more food on the floor and walls then anyone ate, or so he believed. And a note stuck to the refrigerator with a piece of pizza that read.

 

Spent last of petty cash on pizza and beer

to celebrate your election to Leader.

 

Pink

   


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#11 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 02 February 2015 - 08:32 PM

It was morning... In his newly prepared training suite, next to Buckeye Dove's washing machine Private Avenger stretched and winced. Once his muscle tone had been ... well, superhuman. Now, distinctly human.  "I still have my disciplines...my exercises, my meditations" he reminded himself "Muscle tone I can get back." 

 

"Morning" Pink flopped on the floor next to him with a pint mug of coffee. "Want some?"

 

"Not before training, Pink" PA frowned at her. "You know that."

 

Pink shrugged. "whatever."  She glanced over at him.  "You're still training naked I see." 

 

"It helps me feel the world around me. To be more in tune with my environment. You know that." 

 

"If you say so. Lucky no-one else is coming though. I really don't think I could have faced naked Uglyogre." 

 

"They're not coming??? But why on earth not?? I thought they understood the importance of it."

 

"Yeah. Well, Cap did one of his "motivational" power point presentations about Health and Wellbeing last night. Afterwards they all said they were going to the pub and not to expect them till "later" today."

 

"Just you and me then."  PA grinned. "It'll be like old times. Apart from the washing machine."

 

"Oh I can't do training. Sorry. Early start at the Humphreydale Gazette. That Senior Editor Unnie is a real slave driver." 

 

And leaving her coffee Pink skipped away. 


Pinken Stein: The Postmodern Pugilist, Ex-Moderator

 

Proud leader of Turbulence (till I can find some other mug to take the job off my hands)

Ask Aunty Pink: Hero Zero's PREMIER Agony Advice Column. http://forum.us.hero...pink/#entry3602

 

In Memoriam: Russ Smith, Gone but never forgotten 


#12 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 03 February 2015 - 12:25 AM

Angelica was being interviewed for a part time job with the Humphreydale Gazette... 

 

"Do you have copies of your transcripts?", asked Senior Editor Unnie.

 

"Here they are...", handing him a small folder, "my Junior College placement scores are in there, too.", said Angelica.

 

(Unnie, scanning the folder's contents)

 

"Impressive... our current opening is for an intern, meaning  that you'll proofread copy for errors, answer phones, type up reporter's copy on phoned-in stories... that sort of thing.  Do a good job, and we might even let you do an interview or two... think you're up to it?" 

 

"What are the hours?"

 

"Well, the office is open 24 hours a day... pick your own, as long as the work gets done."

 

"Sounds like fun... when can I start?", Angelica asked, with a grin.

 

"Is today too soon?", he replies, with a smirk and a chuckle.


Smile...
your friends will be glad you are happy,
and your enemies will wonder what you're up to...
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#13 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 06 February 2015 - 06:27 PM

"If I don't get some problems soon I'm going to have to make some up". Pink muttered in despair looking at her empty desk.

 

"That or try to sneak an article on the increase in house breakings past Unnie."

 

The eagle-eyed editor was only too good at spotting Pink's attempts to increase her security business by running phony articles about the need for home security in the newspaper.

 

her email pinged.

 

"Ooooh!!! business" 

 

But no. Instead an email in Unnie's preferred sea-green font read "Staff meeting. your office. 5 minutes."

 

"SHIT!" Pink dashed around hastily grabbing pizza poxes, empty beer cans and a pile of paperbacks and shoved them in her drawer. 

 

"hi Pink" Angelica was early. of course. 

 

"HI!" Pink grabbed for her mouse trying to close 5 tabs all at once. Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr. Buzzfeed. 

 

"PINK!" the golden haired giant strolled in and raised an eyebrow. "Surfing Imgur for cats again?"

 

"Research. Article. On,. Erm. Pet problems. After that email from... erm... Dogmeat." 

 

"Sure......"

 

Pink's phone went off.

 

 

"Team meeting now. About the Sparklies, remember? Where are you? Michael"

 

"Emergency, gotta go,." Pink grabbed her phone and her bag and ran out.

 

Unnie raised his other eyebrow at Angelica.

 

"Did she just say "they don't sparkle"?"

 

"No she yelled it." 


Pinken Stein: The Postmodern Pugilist, Ex-Moderator

 

Proud leader of Turbulence (till I can find some other mug to take the job off my hands)

Ask Aunty Pink: Hero Zero's PREMIER Agony Advice Column. http://forum.us.hero...pink/#entry3602

 

In Memoriam: Russ Smith, Gone but never forgotten 


#14 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 10 February 2015 - 10:48 PM

Unnie nodded, then said, "Well, I guess the staff meeting will have to be re-scheduled."

 

Angelica nodded and replied, "In that case, I could work on that research paper for my History class... call me when we're gonna have the meeting."

 

Angelica grabbed her backpack, and hurried from the newsroom.

 

She'd gotten about a block when the text came in...  Team meeting...ASAP


Smile...
your friends will be glad you are happy,
and your enemies will wonder what you're up to...
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