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#41 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 05 May 2015 - 08:15 PM

Dear Auntie Pink ( and PowerBottom too apparently  :lol:  ) , 

 

I can assure you that I love myself  :lol: ... a lot. 

 

Far from self-centered, I acknowledge my vices and my goodness. I try my best. 

I'm starting to think that true love is trying to hide from all my confidence  B) .

One way...or the other, I'll find it. 

 

I wouldn't mind receiving a weapon, just make sure there is no blood stains on it. 

 

Now tell me, isn't that true love only possible in Disney movies ? 

 

So far, that is what I came to understand. 

 

Also, the problem with cars is that they never change... Isn't that going against the whole " grow old together " disney theory ? 

 

With a tinsy bit of humor, 

SuperSamSam 

 

 

Dear SuperSamSam 

 

Thanks for asking!

 

PowerBottom tells me he has his own column of which he is very proud as it is large and well used but apparently doesn't mind helping out occasionally if someone needs some advice in areas I'm not familiar with. Such as true love which I always thought was a marketing device to sell Hallmark cards but my friends tell me it's real. And I was bridesmaid at PB's wedding. (I say "bridesmaid" more like "squished bit of goo" seeing as I'd just fallen to earth from somewhere the wrong side of Jupiter in a Hummer, long story. But they let me come to the dinner afterwards so it counts.) (I got better) 

 

where was I? Oh yes.  If you want the King of Thieves weapon I say go out and get it, don't wait for him to come to you, he's notoriously poor at picking up on hints. Like some guys I knew wrote to him and said "please stop hitting us and taking our money" and he just carried right on taking their money and hitting them, didn't get the hint at all. Serve them right for picking on defenceless ninja villagers that's what I say. Also "thanks for the tip off about the rich people". 

 

 

Even Disney has given up on the notion of True Love (see Magnificent or whatever that movie is called. Seriously, see it, it's a great movie). So yes, stick to loving yourself and letting people hang out with you if you feel like it. 

 

The thing with cars is that you just replace the parts and keep going. Like I have a beautiful old 1985 Audi Quattro. Still going strong.  With regular oil changes, services and proper maintenance, I see no reason why a human relationship shouldn't last just as well. I suspect most humans don't look after their cars properly either. Stupid people.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink


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#42 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 05 May 2015 - 08:31 PM

Dear Auntie Pink;

Thank you for the shout out in your advice to SuperSamSam

Since that put me in a good mood I'll chime in, even though up till now I always thought Puking Rainbows was the opening act for Offspring.

Your advice while extreme, is unfortunately fairly accurate, however I suggest If you choose a fatal option when ending a relationship with a magic user, that you burn the corpse, salt the ashes and scatter them on some sort of holy ground unless you enjoy some sort of undead monstrosity boiling bunnies on your porch.

 

Regarding SamSam's Curse, " Thou will always puke rainbows near what thou eyes cherish. " 

Despite the shoddy craftpersonship, it is obviously an "until you find true love spell." Ugh so late 90's Ditsney cartoon magic.

Assuming you can't get a relative to sell you into indentured servitude with an ensorcelled Beaste, or Crawl the swamp until you locate a noble person in amphibian drag, I suggest the whole listen to your heart, beauty is only skin deep, its the person inside who counts (Figuratively, for the metaphorically impaired) routine.

When you find your one true love the spell should be broken.

Or get hypnotherapy so that your eyes cherish hidden treasure so that you technicolor yawn around hidden valuables instead of underwear models.

Have a great day and dont forget to stop by RAINBOWS for a drink.

Oh yeah I'm supposed to ask a question.

The kids miss their Auntie Pink can you babysit Saturday? Their Daddies want some grown up wrestling, er sorry I meant date night. 

  

 

Dear PB

 

Thanks for asking!

 

Personally I prefer boxing (obviously), but sure if you and Lenny want to catch some WWE I'm happy to watch the little tykes. 

 

Can you remind them of the No Fecking Magic rule please as I really did get fed up of the "enhanced" hide and seek. ... seriously.... illusionists should not be allowed to play hide and seek. 

 

Hope this helps!

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink


Pinken Stein: The Postmodern Pugilist, Ex-Moderator

 

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Ask Aunty Pink: Hero Zero's PREMIER Agony Advice Column. http://forum.us.hero...pink/#entry3602

 

In Memoriam: Russ Smith, Gone but never forgotten 


#43 PostmodernPugilist

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Posted 05 May 2015 - 08:32 PM

Hi all. Please forgive the hijacking of Auntie Pink's Column; but I feel that the current line of inquiry is more up my alley (if you'll pardon the phrase) than hers.

Dear Heartless and SuperSamSam, Thanks SOOOOOooooooo much for asking, pull up a stool, have a drink, and pay attention.

SamSam,
To find true love you must first love yourself and find yourself worthy. (watch the current crop of Ditsney movies for further info i.e. Ensnared or Frigid) and be open to new ideas. Love may find you when you least expect it.

Heartless, Try to revisit old ideas in new ways. If at first you don't succeed get back on the horse and and all that. Don't dismiss puppetry yet. Lenny and I quite enjoy playing puppet.

 

attachicon.gifimages.jpg
 

 

I suggest you both try to be open to new ideas and help each other find love. Heartless perhaps send SuperSamSam a body part and a weapon , since that is how you like to announce your intentions. I prefer Flowers and Chocolate but to each their own.

Anyway, Pink can have her column back, I like them better attached anyway.

Good luck and dont forget to tip your bartender.

Oh yeah, Auntie Pink the Kids want to know if you'll teach them to pick locks while you sit this weekend?

 

Dear PB

 

thanks for asking!

 

Yeah of course I'll teach them to pick locks if they want! we can go down to the City Bank and have a little practical lesson. Maybe I'll lift the No Fecking Magic rule whilst we're there.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Whatever

 

Aunty Pink 


Pinken Stein: The Postmodern Pugilist, Ex-Moderator

 

Proud leader of Turbulence (till I can find some other mug to take the job off my hands)

Ask Aunty Pink: Hero Zero's PREMIER Agony Advice Column. http://forum.us.hero...pink/#entry3602

 

In Memoriam: Russ Smith, Gone but never forgotten 


#44 SuperSamSam

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Posted 06 May 2015 - 01:35 AM

Dear Aunty Pink,

I have two problems, I'd like to talk to you about :

The first one is that, the situation with my pet is getting dangerous. My constant vomiting led to dehydration. The dehydration made me pass out at critical points during team battles and duels. My teammates are starting to get worried, and I have to say I am too.
True love is taking its time, and the situation is urgent. Next time, my team might loose a fight, because I just passed out.


What can I do to stop the vomiting temporarily, until true loves does its thing?

The second one is true love.

How do I know it's true love ? Also how many times can I be seduced by evil forces until I'm considered evil myself ?

He thinks he is a villain. I can't help, but doubt it. Over the years, I specialized myself into helping broken-hearted devils. All I could see looking at them was a lot of emptiness masked with what they knew was considered like bad deeds. They are always trying  to push people away. But when you look a little closer, beyond their wicked smile, you can hear their souls lamenting.

I always look too close, ending up getting tormented by my own demons.

He is not one of those broken-hearted devils; he doesn't act like one.
The truth be told, he makes me puke rainbows. We seem to have the sense of humor. 

And that is why I ask again. How do I know it's true love ? And, how many times can I be seduced by evil forces until I'm considered evil myself ?

Truly yours,
SuperSamSam

P.S. : Did I mention the bad dialog ?
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The life of a Sam is only a succession of awkward moments. Like this one right here, I have no idea how to finish this statement. Thus, I'm just going to stop right here. :)

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"Wrap your troubles in dreams, and dream your troubles away." - Kermit Ruffins.

Be nice to one another, you don't know who is behind the screen.If you take anything I say online seriously ... you should see someone.You are here to have fun, right ? So start having fun ...

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#45 SuperSamSam

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 01:12 PM

Dear Auntie Pink,


In my first post, I said I was the queen of bad choices.
You are about to discover why I was right. My teammates recently learned that I was mistaking their mortal enemy for true love. Little did I know about their past encounters.


According to what they told me, he has been particularly cruel to them. I will pass on the details. I couldn't believe it. But, they would never make something up, and lie to me all in sync.


Still, I can't believe that what seemed like a relationship full of promises ended up jeopardizing my relationship with those people I cherish so much.


It is unfortunate that conflicts from another world have to matter in this one.

I'm now going to get back to my little dog, do you have any advice about that ? :)


Truly puzzled,
SuperSamSam


Whatever ;)

The life of a Sam is only a succession of awkward moments. Like this one right here, I have no idea how to finish this statement. Thus, I'm just going to stop right here. :)

IMG_0817-0-250x140.jpg

"Wrap your troubles in dreams, and dream your troubles away." - Kermit Ruffins.

Be nice to one another, you don't know who is behind the screen.If you take anything I say online seriously ... you should see someone.You are here to have fun, right ? So start having fun ...

---


#46 Jagan

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 03:51 PM

Although Auntie Pink will come up with a definitive answer, I will just offer up this fable:


The Scorpion and the Frog

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion
says, "Because if I do, I will die too."

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"

        Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature...
"


“What would your good be doing if there were no evil, and what would the earth look like if shadows disappeared from it? After all, shadows are cast by objects and people. There is the shadow of my sword. But there are also shadows of trees and living creatures. Would you like to denude the earth of all the trees and all the living beings in order to satisfy your fantasy of rejoicing in the naked light?”

― Mikhail Bulgakov, The Master and Margarita

#47 King of Thieves

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 04:29 PM

I prefer "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And if it is done unto you as you have done unto others, don't whine about it. It's hypocrisy. 


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#48 leapinglizard

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:06 PM

I prefer to follow the bible and turn the other cheek.
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#49 leapinglizard

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:07 PM

King of Thieves you cannot delete only edit posts

#50 King of Thieves

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:12 PM

Maybe in the real world. In-game, I beg to differ. Also, let's not forget that guy is also known for flipping tables and cracking a whip on money changers. And for the record, the "do unto others...." quote is directly out of the Bible. 


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#51 leapinglizard

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:21 PM

Yes out of context
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Bible says do unto others what you want (done to you), it's not a revenge quote. (Doesn't say do what they did to you, even if they do you wrong you are supposed to do what you want them to do to you)

But that's all the religion talk today From me.

#52 King of Thieves

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:23 PM

Where does it say, "do unto others what you want"? You must be reading a different Bible than me. But there is a revenge quote. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."


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#53 leapinglizard

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:28 PM

The above is king James version. It clearly says do whatsoever that you want done to you.
Read it carefully which means always do to others what you would like them to do to you.

Now you are quoting from the old testament and citing the current law at the time. There's others about incest and other things but if you don't follow all you can pull 1 line in here and there without following all.

#54 SuperSamSam

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:32 PM

Dear Aunty Pink,



I bought paper clips, yesterday.


What are your thoughts on that ?


Truly yours,
SuperSamSam


P.S. :This is my nice way to say " Let's not involve religion in this. There is no happy ending. "
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The life of a Sam is only a succession of awkward moments. Like this one right here, I have no idea how to finish this statement. Thus, I'm just going to stop right here. :)

IMG_0817-0-250x140.jpg

"Wrap your troubles in dreams, and dream your troubles away." - Kermit Ruffins.

Be nice to one another, you don't know who is behind the screen.If you take anything I say online seriously ... you should see someone.You are here to have fun, right ? So start having fun ...

---


#55 King of Thieves

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:35 PM

So what are you saying? If I wish to quote the Bible I should quote the entire Bible? That would take up a lot of forum space and make it hard for people to understand which part was relevant to the topic at hand. Also, I think incest is irrelevant to the topic at hand. What are you implying with it? And no, it doesn't say that. Luke 6:31 records Jesus saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  from the NEW Testament.


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#56 leapinglizard

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:41 PM

I'm done now super is right.

I'm a bible scholar you can pm me if you want more. I simply meant use in context. If you live according to the old law you have to follow all of the rules.



Yes you got it Jesus said it right do as you would have them do to you not the other way. That's all I was saying.

Bye

#57 King of Thieves

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 05:59 PM

Thanks, but no need. I went to a Christian school for 8 years and read it plenty there. Now I spend my Christian religious studies (I say this because Christian studies don't encompass the whole of my religious studies) learning about Christian history, like the formation of the Bible under Constantine at the Council of Nicea and things like the Gnostic Gospels and other texts left out of the Bible like The Book of Enoch and Jubilees. Great reads, btw. There's a more indepth telling of creation in Enoch I think all Christians should read. Biblical Astronomy is a fascination of mine as well. It's truly fascinating all the hidden details that once understood, can help with all kinds of prophecy, like where Christ predicts about the man with the water pitcher.  


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#58 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 06:51 PM

Just a reminder, guys... religion is complex subject, and one to be careful about, especially in these forums...

 

Besides... It's not NICE to Hi-Jack Pinky's advice thread!!!!


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#59 King of Thieves

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 05:07 AM

Oh, she'll be fine. Pinky loves a good hijacking.


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#60 AngelicaSynn

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 09:50 PM

Only when she's doing the hijacking...  :D 


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